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It's a bit "old news" now, but I have received pictures from our friend Paul in Detroit that are so much better than the ones we took with our digital camera at the time. Thus, an entire webpage devoted to these new pictures of the ceremony seems to be called for.
The date was February 14th. Valentine's Day was actually Wai-Liang's idea, as the registrar had suggested February 13th. It's going to be a good anniversary date, as it's difficult to forget, and we only need to send one card and give one present, rather than two.
In addition, Wai-Liang and I agreed that rather than a full ceremony, with vows, readings, and a formal pronouncement by the registrar, we'd just have a signing in her office. It was just as legal, either way. However, if you're thinking of forming a civil partnership, don't expect lots of guests to be able to squeeze in if you just have the signing—they won't be able to see it as the office is quite small.
We started off at the Southwark Registry Office. It's an interesting venue, just down the street from Southwark Town Hall on the border between Camberwell and Peckham. I am unsure whether it was purpose-built or a converted home/house/mansion. Inside it is relatively grotty, I'm afraid. It hasn't been renovated in ages, and is only now undergoing some renovation. These renovations do not include a lift, and the office we signed our partnership in was on the second floor (third floor to you USans).
We set out in a "people carrier"; a taxi built for 8 people. We all climbed into it, and I thought I had booked it for the triumphant ride back. More on this later. When we got to the Registry Office, we bundled out, and ended up on the first floor, in a waiting room.
As is the rest of the building, the waiting room is small and somewhat grotty. However, we all bunched in the corner and another person in the waiting room took a group photo.
From left, standing: Rob, Mark, and Ethel. From left, sitting: Wai-Liang, me, and Paul.
Rob and Mark are a couple. Mark and I met at my gym about 10 years ago. For a while, he was my flatmate at Clennam St. until he sorted out a flat in the tower block next to my current home. He and Rob have been together for about 10 years, I think. Rob works at the Science Museum in Kensington, while Mark is starting a job at the National Gallery in May. As Mark is one of my oldest friends in London, Wai-Liang suggested that we ask him to be a witness.
Ethel is the widow of St. Matthew's former churchwarden, John. She is a dear friend and the life of any party she's at. We decided to ask her as one of our witnesses. She and John invited Wai-Liang and me to their 50th Anniversary Celebration as a couple. This meant a lot to us and we thought it would be only right to return the compliment.
Paul Sears is a very long-time friend of mine. We met in the late 1980's when I was involved with Men of All Colours Together/New York as member and co-chair for a year. Paul was on the national board of Black and White Men Together as the chapter development chair. He is one of the most real people I know: absolutely up-front in every way and someone who is always the life of the party wherever the party is. When he discovered that we were having our ceremony he booked a flight right away and arrived while I was still in the hospital recovering from the heart attack. We love Paul dearly.
When the registrar was ready, we went up to the third floor and crowded into her office. She explained the procedure: I would sign the register while saying the formula that I was signing, then Wai-Liang would sign, and then the witnesses would sign. Only then would she (the registrar) sign and pronounce that the Civil Partnership was formed. So, I signed my life away, pronouncing the words with a bit of a catch in my voice.
This surprised me; it was a very emotional moment. Wai-Liang remarked on it, as he signed after me.
Being an official couple in the eyes of our country is something that I had never actually contemplated. As a child of the 1950's, with Communist witch-hunts on the same level as homosexual witch-hunts, gay marriage was something that I never dreamed I would see. And as countries began to legislate to allow it (the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Massachusetts [of course, that was a judicial ruling rather than a law]) I still didn't think that the Government of the UK would move on it. They did.
I'm not a Labour supporter; I think they are chipping away at our civil liberties one-by-one, using terrorism as the excuse but not realising that the next terrorist attack in the UK will certainly happen no matter what the Government passes into law. Then even more legislation will be required, but will never be sufficient until we are under surveillance 24 hours a day—and probably not even then.
However, I have to give them credit; the Tories would not have passed this law (although they are now supporting it) and the Liberal Democrats (my party) will not get into power for a while yet. Labour did it, even though hypocrites such as David Blunkett, serial paramour and unwed father, voted against it.
The Civil Partnership act allows same-sex couples to register a civil partnership that, for all intents and purposes, is treated as a heterosexual marriage is. Partners gain the status of next-of-kin, inheritance tax rules are the same (a large exemption for widows/widowers), succession rights in rented housing, pension rights the same as those of married couples. Indeed, the responsibilities are now also changed: civil partners have the obligation to support each other and, when a partnership is dissolved, the same rules apply as in a heterosexual divorce. If one member of a partnership is on benefits, the level of benefits is now judged using both partners' incomes and circumstances rather than just the one's.
After we signed, our witnesses had to sign, and they did this. What they signed was a certificate, suitable for framing, saying that Wai-Liang and I had contracted a civil partnership on February 14, 2006. We also got a copy of the register entry. I shan't post these, as that might invite forgers to copy one or both of them. Wai-Liang is against framing the certificate, but I'd like to do so.
Once they'd both signed, the registrar then pronounced us civil partners as she signed the register and the certificate.
So now we looked at the certificate and thought, both of us: "What have we gotten ourselves into?" I hope into a life-long partnership, that's what!
Nothing was left but the celebration. I called the taxi company when no people carrier was forthcoming as we left. They said, "Sorry, mate; we only have you down for one trip and it will take an hour or so to get one back to you." So we took the very ordinary number 12 bus back to the Elephant and Castle and repaired to our flat for a drink and some nibbles before dinner. Mark and Rob contributed a cake for each of us, but the picture shows that sometimes Chinese names get a bit mangled in the process of decorating.
We went to Pizzeria Castello at the Elephant at the beginning of Walworth Road, and had great Italian food, celebrating our partnership with our friends.
If any of you are considering forming a civil partnership, do. I assure you, it'll change your life and be an opportunity to celebrate your lives with your friends and loved ones. Make sure you get pictures, too!
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